Why Is It So Hard To Spend Money On Me?

I didn’t participate in sports as a kid.  I wasn’t interested and quite frankly, was never really good at anything athletic. Even at eleven, my hamstrings were all tight and angry. Instead of sports I took baton and tap dancing – both of which I loved. My parents support and encouragement of my batonning career is a whole other post.  Is there really anything more useless than baton twirling?  Aside from a large green hat, an obscenely short skirt and the ability to duck superfast…I didn’t really get a lot out of it.  Imagine your child coming to you with an interest in what could possibly be the world’s most useless extra-curricular activity and you supporting it 100%. Not only supporting it but staying up late to sew the costume for your baton twirling debut to the theme song from Superman.

Red satin shorts, navy blue t-shirt with superman logo on the front.  For reals.

File that under parental love at its finest.

But it’s what parents do. So when Speed Skating Son and Hockey Playing Son come to me (to us) and say they want to try a sport or sew pajamas for the homeless, we support them. We sign them up, buy the equipment and spend the time to help make it a great experience.  If they choose to not continue a sport because they don’t like it, we make them finish out the year–you don’t let your teammates down–and they can try something else.

We are lucky that we can afford to do this. Not once have we ever had to say “I’m sorry, we can’t sign you up for this activity because we don’t have the money“.

The same thing holds true for me and Hockey Playing Husband. We are able to afford our own sporty activities. He is able to play hockey (when he isn’t home with a bum knee) and I am able to speed skate or run in races whenever I please.

So why, WHY is it so hard for me to buy my own pair of speed skates?

For the past year I have rented my skates from the club.

I love them because they represent me so well – old with a few battle scars, yet new and green to the sport of speed skating.

But I want to invest in a pair of my own. And yet the cost, the cost I wouldn’t bat an eyelash at if it were for Speed Skating Son or Hockey Playing Son or Hockey Playing Dad, has me hesitating.

I’m a simple gal. I live in yoga pants and white tees. I dye my own roots in between trips to the salon and mostly like to hang out at home. My one weakness is books and there is no hesitation when it comes to bringing a new novel into my life.

I’m going to get them. I will purchase skates for myself before the year is out. New boots with used blades, I’m thinking.

But I wonder why it’s so hard for me to do it? And is it just me or do other moms feel this way as well?

I wonder.



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About Sharon

Sharon DeVellis is a mother, wife and writer who can uncork a wine bottle in less than 10 seconds but buys twist-offs for emergencies. She’s currently in therapy to stop talking about herself in third person.
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24 Responses to Why Is It So Hard To Spend Money On Me?

  1. This is definitely me. I have a really hard time buying anything for myself except the essentials (including decent work clothes) but when it comes to the kids and lessons and costumes and clothes and shoes and and and… I have no hesitation. Part of it is what I grew up with – my mom wore mink while we wore walmart too big/too small snowsuits. Part of it is knowing that there is another dance costume bill coming shortly. I don’t know… but what I do know is that I need work clothes like you need a pair of skates so you need to go and get yourself a pair. You’ve done the responbsible thing of “trying before you buy” and making sure you actually stick to the sport. It’s the next step in your speedskating mommy journey. You owe it to the sport and to all of us cheering you on to at least own your own pair of skates!

  2. mara says:

    I think that you should get new boots & new blades!! You deserve a break today! You’re setting a fabulous example for your boys, and you need the right equipment to do it with.

  3. Michael Pereckas says:

    Yes! You need skates! I finally got mine this year (I ordered them at the beginning of January last year and finally got the blades a few days after the oval at the Pettit center opened this fall. It apparently takes roughly the same amount of time to order speed skates as to make a baby.) Are you able to consistantly use the same pair from your club? I was renting from the Pettit center’s collection and sometimes could get the same favorite pair, other times not. It took my whole first season to figure out the right size (I assumed that if I couldn’t fit both toes and heel into a 42 than a 43 it was even if they seemed very loose, but the 42s were mislabeled and I really needed something more like 39). Last year I ended up randomly switching between clap skates and fixed blades, and one of the pairs of fixed-blade skates had a screwed up blade (the first time I thought it was just me, the second time I got them I realized it was the skates!). I really spent more time getting used to whatever I was wearing each time than actually learning to skate better. So this year I’ve been so excited to have the exact same boots that fit every time and blades that I almost never skate more than one session on before sharpening them again.

  4. Niki says:

    Yes buy both ASAP & more importantly post that pic already ;)

  5. Niki says:

    Yes, buy both ASAP & more importantly post that picture ;)

  6. Kaari Cox says:

    Must be a mom thing…I’m not one, and I have, ahem, multiple pairs of custom skates (inline and ice), and have no problem spending money on myself. But really, mom or no, you need to do it…skates that fit well are critical to skating well, and I can’t imagine that rentals fit well. Blades, too, are important…are your current ones rocked, bent, and sharpened appropriately?
    Do it–you deserve it!

    • Sharon says:

      I am jealous of your multiple skates. And yes, am definitely getting my whole pair. I have no idea if my blades are rocked or bent but I’m almost 100% sure that it wouldn’t make a difference in my skating right now but they are indeed sharpened – it’s the one thing I can do : )

  7. Kelly says:

    How about this reasoning: you are teaching your sons about how a mother should treat herself. One day they will have their own family, you don’t want them thinking that the mom should never indulge in something that she passionate about, right.? So buy the skates, boots AND blades. Do it for the kids:)

  8. Alison says:

    I remember something similar about investing in a new pair of skiis. We are a huge alpine skiing family. I realized that it was for me more about making the commitment to continue skiing than anything. I have an osteo thing was afraid of falling and breaking something. I DID buy the news skiis and it vastly improved the comfort and pleasure of the sport. Then two years later I gave it up for good, but I never regretted the investment like i thought I might.

  9. Kat says:

    Buy them! Says the woman who questions every personal purchase. As women we over think things to the nth degree. We need an Over-thinking Support Group that enables purchases.

  10. Neeroc says:

    Also? Where is the pic of the baton outfit you tease? *g*

  11. Neeroc says:

    What they ^^^ said. Seriously. And before the end of the year.

  12. Emma says:

    What size are your boots and what size are your blades? I personally think blades are more important than boots, and I think you’d be able to find used boots that fit you easier than blades.

    • Sharon says:

      As always, I bow to your knowledge and if new blades are the way to go, then I shall go with new blades. I’m wearing a 39 right now but would need to try boots on with ultra-sexy orthotics. And really? I’ll probably go with new boots as well – it’s not like my feet are going to grow.

  13. Paula Schuck says:

    Shows how much I know..did not even realize that speed skating skates were different than average skates.
    Buy them but I fully understand. I go to lululemon and buy clothes for daughter and I’ll be ticked later and looking bad. Buy them. Do it for yourself.

  14. I think as women and mothers it is ingrained in us to take care of others before ourselves.
    I say buy those skates! Like Jen said speedskating is a big part of your life now. You will get plenty of use out of them. It is an investment in your happiness.

  15. krista says:

    I too have a hard time buying for me. Even for things that I LOVE, as much as you clearly love speedskating. So when I needed a new camera, and didn’t want to spend the money for the camera that I wanted, I took on a contract that I might not have taken on (but likely would have) to make the money for the camera. The camera was the carrot I needed. It was extra work, yes, but it was how I was able to justify the money. I am not saying that you need to take on something extra to buy the skates, but maybe just need to find a carrot in something that you are already doing?!

    Any way you do it, I agree that you NEED the skates! Can’t wait to read about them, once you have them.

  16. Pam @writewrds says:

    Yah! Buy them. Own them. Own it. Own up to the reality you rock and you deserve them. You SHOULD have them.
    And no batting eyelashes about it. ; )

  17. Jen says:

    Buy them and come tell me you did or I’m going to come kick your toned speedskating butt. Speedskating has become a huge thing for you, don’t treat it like a casual hobby – um, look up at the name of this blog! Own it, buy the skates and just do it. Yes, for you. Yes, soon. You deserve it.

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