The Laws Of Detraction

I believe that people are fundamentally good and nice but I’m also a realist who knows you’re always going to encounter the occasional *sshole.

What I mean is that you can hear a thousand wonderful comments but when someone says something hurtful, it tends to stay.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

I recently overheard a crappy comment about me–one that clearly wasn’t meant for my ears.  It hurt because 99% of my experience in learning how to speed skate people has been amazing–beyond amazing.  There is my Masters coach E. who has the patience of Job and answers Every. Single. One. of the emails I send her asking a kajillion questions.  There are the other skaters in my class who help and encourage me.  There are my friends who support me.  And then there are the strangers.  I get a lot of emails now from people I don’t know who tell me how I inspired them to try something new. It kinda rocks my world.

And of course, there’s hockey skating husband who, when I come home and cry because I overheard a mean comment, instead of feeding into my tears tells me I need to buck up, put on my big girl panties and start practicing more so I really do learn how to speed skate.  And then he makes me laugh.  Because that’s the kind of stuff that makes a good marriage.

The comment turned out to be a good thing.  It gave me a bit of perspective and I needed to get me some.  I’m not training for the Olympics here, I’m a mom, trying to learn something new and reminding other moms that you need to make time for yourself.  IT’S SO IMPORTANT. If occasionally someone sees that in a negative light?  Meh.

Because, really, most people are fundamentally good and nice.

You can’t let the detractors get you down.


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About Sharon

Sharon DeVellis is a mother, wife and writer who can uncork a wine bottle in less than 10 seconds but buys twist-offs for emergencies. She’s currently in therapy to stop talking about herself in third person.
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12 Responses to The Laws Of Detraction

  1. Marc says:

    People really need to stop and think before making comments about others. Positive outlook’s give us reason to try harder, while negative comments can stop us in our tracks. YOU are doing something unique and awesome, keep moving forward, fast and left. :)

  2. Someone said something not nice about you? About your speedskating? Do they know that there’s an internet full of people who are amazed that you just get out to learn a new sport? And we’re not talking tennis here, we’re talking a sport with ninja-like swords you strap onto your feet and OMG head to toe spandex! You deserve a standing ovation every time you contemplate getting on the ice. Also, I’m fairly certainy, if ever needed we could organize a bus-load of women to chear you on!

  3. Kat says:

    Your attitude is amazing. That is all. xox

  4. Kia says:

    I know exactly how you feel…it’s much harder to forget the negative comments :( Really sorry that someone felt the need to be an asshole…makes me want to put on my Sharon Fan Club sash…round up all the other Sharon Fan Club members and cheer our asses off for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hugs :)

  5. SamiJoe says:

    Awww… you are so inspiring lady that I can hardly imagine anyone saying anything bad about you at all. That said, haters are usually jealous—

    You’ve hit a nerve with someone who wishes they were more like you. BUT– certainly take a lesson away from this and make you that much more butt kicking stronger! That’ll piss them off more! <3

  6. Nicole says:

    It’s funny but it’s true – the bad comments always stick. WHY IS THAT? We say majority rules for everything, but yet, when the majority says “awesome” and one person says “you suck” we believe the one person. Let’s make a pact to NOT listen to the asshole. Unless it turns out better like it did in this situation. Wait. I just talked myself into a circle. Dammit! Disregard this whole comment, carry on.

  7. Sarah Deveau says:

    “Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” Les Brown

    Growing up helping my younger brother come out of the closet and turn into a wonderful man taught my in my teenage years to adjust my filter. The good comments sink in and stick, the bad are checked for lessons I can take away to become a better person. If the bad comments offer no value (because I’m not perfect and can always improve) they are strained out and tossed out.

    I have found it literally is a matter of changing your thinking. The second I start to think again about a negative that isn’t helpful, I will get up, call a friend (and not to bitch), reread a supportive note of thanks or email, make a list of things I like about myself, etc. I’m so much happier for it!

  8. Mary Lynn says:

    I think the same…most people are good people, but boyohboy it can be hard to remember that when you encounter the not-so-good ones. Good for you focusing on the positive and only using the negative as motivation.

    And thank goodness for husbands who make us laugh just when we need it most!

  9. Oh lord there are assholes and fucktards everywhere! You do what is important to you first and foremost and when that leads to others being inspired that’s the bonus! When the not to lovelies enter the picture kick the snot of out of them and keep moving forward. Often times it is those that try and hinder our achievements that are truly the ones who need to be inspired.

  10. Well poop on all the assholes. Or whatever. You know what I mean.
    Rotten, mean people aren’t worth worrying about. The people who count are all super proud of you. And you know you rock. xo

  11. mara says:

    There are a lot of Professor Poopy Pantses out there who don’t understand the real meaning of life which is: “Dude, if you’re gonna say it, say it to my FACE!’

  12. Smilenwaven (Dianne) says:

    You can comfort yourself with the fact that… anyone who would say anything bad about U is EXTREMELY jealous AND I bet they were ugly too! ;))

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