Russian Twists Are Not What I Thought They Would Be

I haven’t written for awhile because, weirdly, I’ve had so many paid writing jobs lately that I’ve had to put my writing for free aside. Also, Hockey Playing Husband has set up my exercise program. It involves a medicine ball and exercises with names like Russian Twist, which has nothing at all to do with vodka, ice cubes and a lime slice like I originally thought. Quite disappointing.

It also incorporates stretching, not just my angry hamstrings, but things like my Gluteus Medius. Another disappointment? This does not involve Russel Crowe in ANY WAY.

He also printed out a whole bunch of stuff on the Science of Speed Skating, and the Principles of Power, and Forward Momentum, and the Japanese Four-Eyed Technique — which involves the word nipples — and made me read it for homework. I am going to be the most knowledgeable bad speed skater on the planet.

I now have so much stuff — exercises and reading and schedules — that I created a speed skating folder. A FOLDER!

Also, there’s a stationary bike being delivered to my house sometime this week.

And a new dining room table, but that has nothing to with training.

Oh, and if you come to my house and notice little pieces of painter’s tape on the walls, just ignore them. It has to do with stretching and two people who are somewhat competitive.

You don’t even want to know.

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About Sharon

Sharon DeVellis is a mother, wife and writer who can uncork a wine bottle in less than 10 seconds but buys twist-offs for emergencies. She’s currently in therapy to stop talking about herself in third person.
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8 Responses to Russian Twists Are Not What I Thought They Would Be

  1. alimartell says:

    I just looked up Russian twists…last week.
    I was also seriously disappointed. Nothing delicious even at all.

  2. Julia says:

    HAHAHA what if we do want to know/ ;) ;)

  3. Katharine says:

    Wow. A folder. I am impressed. And labelled with such neat handwriting.

    And, yes, I do want to know what happened to your wall. Because curious minds DO want to know.

  4. Kaari Cox says:

    A folder? Excellent! You’re just a small step away from my “2-inch binders o’data”–one for every two years. You’ll definitely be kicking butt this winter (with your newly flexible hamstrings!)

  5. I’ll start to really worry when you get a binder

  6. Kat says:

    You are way too organized! Folders?
    Was your husband with the inquisition in a past life?

  7. Candace says:

    I totally want to know about the tape on the wall. And a FOLDER? You are out of control.

  8. Congrats on your writing jobs! I also thought a Russian Twist would be something like a Black Russian but with lime. Or – OR – it could be some kind of cinnamon twisty thing. If cinnamon is big in Russian which it probably isn’t. Hmmm. Now I’m hungry.

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