Reality Check

Posted on July 3, 2011 by Sharon

You’d think I would learn.

I should know better than to be all “look at me, I’m speed skating mom and I run and lift weights and I’m so fit“.

Blah blah blabbity blah. *rolls eyes*

Last night we were hanging out on the porch watching Son No. 2 run races against himself.  He was running about 100 m and each race he’d try to beat his previous time.  I guess this got a bit boring so he challenged me to race him.

I’m not the type of mom to “let” my kids win so I was fully prepared to kick his ass.  My legs are, like, totally longer.  Easy peasy slice o’ cheesy.

Anyhoo…..long story short, the little fuc…

He’s fast.

So then Son No. 1 and some of the neighbourhood kids got into it and decided to run laps around the park as fast as they could – about 300 m.

Son No. 1′s Time:  1:05
Neighbour Girl’s Time: 1:00

My Time?  1:14

I was beat by two elementary school kids.

Guess who’s going to be out doing sprints around the park tonight?  This time without drinking wine first.

Also, I got stuck in another piece of clothing at lululemon today.

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About Sharon

Sharon DeVellis is a mother, wife and writer who can uncork a wine bottle in less than 10 seconds but buys twist-offs for emergencies. She’s currently in therapy to stop talking about herself in third person.
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12 Responses to Reality Check

  1. Pingback: 3D Hands, Chinese Juggling and Regular People At The Olympics | Speed Skating Mom

  2. Pingback: Running | Speed Skating Mom

  3. Pam @writewrds says:
    July 5, 2011 at 11:09 am

    The theme from the Lion King?
    The theme from Rocky keeps playing in my head… a classic come-back story with Sharon DV coming up from behind… closer… closer… swooshing by… across the finish line in 59 seconds. Showing those pesky little ankle biters who’s got legs.
    The nerve. Next time, maybe feed them poutine first. Or schedule it for, like ,11 p.m. or or… ; )

  4. Dee Brun says:
    July 5, 2011 at 8:42 am

    Oh I so needed a giggle this morning…TY for giving me one…

    The theme song from the Lion King keeps playing thru my mind on this one…;)

  5. Apryl says:
    July 4, 2011 at 1:43 am

    Next time you should try and distract them with something shiny. This makes me want to go outside and run but I’ll have to wait until tomorrow when my 14 yr old nephew and I will be running a 5k. I will try and distract him with something shiny or maybe I’ll just trip him. PS I often get stuck in Lululemon clothes.

  6. fitvsfiction says:
    July 3, 2011 at 9:01 pm

    I used to LET my sons beat me at basketball and now my 12 year old won’t even LET me play because, apparently, I SUCK. Oh well, I guess eventually all students pass their masters.

    Thanks for the lululemon confession..happened to me at Jacob!
    :o )

  7. karen says:
    July 3, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    I need your kids to catch my 3 year old. He’s fast!!!

  8. Julie Cole says:
    July 3, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    My 11 yr old challenged me to a sprint race last summer. I beat him….but barely….if it had been another 10m, I would have been toast. I’ll take a pass this summer, me thinks.